home is where you make it. for almost three years now, florida has been home to me and i have no complaints. except for the short period of autumn weather during the winter, southwest florida's weather, minus the excruciating humidity, resembles that of the philippines in october to december. it's lack of extreme heat or cold suits my complacent attitude and the palm trees can pass as my visualization of coconuts in my home province. except for the relatively small number of filipinos here, i've felt pretty much at home in florida.
despite this, however, home is also where i grew up in. for all its urban chaos, manila's unexplainable charm still haunts me. it generates more memories of a not so distant life that i think i lived well while i was there. i have learned to survive its mammoth traffic, the irritating familiarity of its people and the seemingly constant struggle for power, the petty kind of power.
the constancy of its social life, the dependability with which you can summon anyone for a whole night of outing in manila's lively nightlife is simply not found anywhere else. why people call new york the city that never sleeps just escapes me. manila's entertainment districts are still filled with insomniacs at 5:00 am while it would have been extremely difficult to find a club in manhattan that is still open at 1:00 am. true, reminders of manila's status as a third world capital are clearly visible even in the high end areas thanks to the annoying sound of the jeepney's diesel engine, i must say that i am still most comfortable at its more exclusive watering holes. not that i savor the social divide that is still much of a fact of life in my country, but sometimes the overblown egalitarian ways of america also have their disadvantages.
so i miss manila and my former life. i am not sure if i would still be able to reclaim my old life even if i decide to move back there. most of the people who have surrounded me three years ago have themselves had their own lives changed without going anywhere else. anytime now, my best friend would become a father, my fraternity brothers have taken their medical careers seriously and sampaloc's ever rising floods have made the frat house a difficult meeting place.
but i'll try anyway. i'm hoping that for the several weeks that i'm there, i have retained the power to summon my friends. maybe my old life is still there.
